Silenced, Scarred & Shattered: Unmasking the Wounds of Child Sexual Abuse in Select American Memoirs

Abstract

The research brings to light the marginalized voices of three American women who have written about their sexual abuse in their respective memoirs Roxane Gay, Hunger: A Memoir of my Body (2017), Nikki Dubose, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light (2016) and Neesha Arter Controlled: The worst Night of my Life and its Aftermath (2015). Using these memoirs as primary data and using thematic analysis the study identified three themes which were further classified into different subthemes. Firstly, the research discovered the challenges faced by the survivors in expressing and communicating about sexual abuse due to fear and shame, the survivors do not come forward because of threats, because of rape stereotypes that permeate the society and the fear of what parents and others might think. Secondly, the research explores the various impact of trauma that is caused by sexual abuse which include shame, guilt and self blame, unworthy self, uncontrollable rage, disruption of safety and trust, isolating themselves from everyone, hostility towards body, destructive behaviours which include eating disorder from Anorexia Nervosa to Binge eating disorder, it also includes self harm and substance abuse. Thirdly, the research focuses on the recovery aspect on how the survivors learn to live with the wounds caused by sexual abuse. It focuses on how the survivors came in terms with the abuse, the conflicting feelings of forgiveness and revenge and how they sought redemption through writing their journey.